Messages we send to children

In my last story, "Innocent or evil?" I wrote about an important lesson gleaned as a child. It wasn't the type of message my parents intended to send. But mothers and fathers aren't perfect. And children are learning even when class isn't in session.

The question underlying my story, however, still needs to be asked: what lessons should we teach children?

Some of the comments received on that post begin to ask just that question. Like Pepsoid, a soon-to-be-dad who points out that the young should be seen, heard, listened to, respected." (By the way, be sure to check out the letter to his unborn child, here.)

Mitch Matthews also raises the question on his Do You Q? blog. There Mitch asks visitors to finish this statement: Every child should be taught __________. Among Mitch's personal answers:

• To dream big.
• That they are here for a reason.
• That they are loved and lovable.

What great messages to send to the young! (Join in that conversation, "What Every Child Should be Taught," here.)

Let's face it! We all send messages to the young, not just parents but all of us who play roles in the lives of children. These lessons aren't always delivered through our words, but with our behavior as well. By our actions and over-reactions! Perhaps the best we can do in conveying the messages that will enhance the lives of these youth is to recall those lessons for ourselves ... and live by them. Lessons of respect (as noted by Pepsoid) and lessons of love (expressed by Matthews). After all, there's a little bit of child left in each of us, too!

Comments

[Brenda]

Emily,
I'd never thought of it exactly this way, before, but you're right when you talk of eliminatng the mixed signals by "getting in touch with what we are experiencing" when addressing issues with children. I think one of the gifts I've been given by my interactions with the young, is that in order to be very honest with them, I'm more honest with myself. (This includes having the integrity to say, "I don't know!") Thanks for your comments!

[Emily]

Another thought on messages: The craziness conveyed to our young ones when they perceive one thing through our body language, etc., and hear a totally different thing through our words. I think really getting in touch with what we are experiencing and being willing to share it with our children is so important.

Thanks for the great read -- I'll check out your above links.

~Emily~

[Brenda]

Rborrelli - Thanks for checking this ost out! (On my next try I was able to access dropping knowledge and I plan follow-up visits there so thanks for letting me know about it!)

Note to all: if anyone is interested in continued conversation on the topic of children, I recommend a visit to Rborrelli's site where this question was recently asked:

What are the most important values a child should be taught?
http://theangryeducator.blogspot.com/2008/05/ask-yourself-meditative-mondays.html

Pepsoid - Your comment (which included love and happiness as two of the essential messages to share with children) reminded me of a quote that I can to search to web to find, “There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.” - George Sand

(By the way, as your child enters the world and grows you'll have to visit Bimmy the Bookish's sites. Here are links:
http://www.frogblogdoglog.blogspot.com/
http://www.readinghero.co.uk/

Bimmy the Bookish - Ahh yes! Listening! Truly listening (not just hearing) is so crucial. For all of us, not just children, the act of listening really says how much we value each other. Everyone wants to be heard, needs to be heard. But perhaps the greatest gift we can give anyone is that of listening! Actually, do to some recent interactions in my life, I really need to post on that topic alone!

Thanks, everyone, for your wonderful contributions to this conversation!

[Bimmy the Bookish]

I think Pepsoid has summed up marvellously - without these it would be hard to achieve anything else, but given these, I would add "listening to children".
I so often hear children ask very reasonable and insightful questions that get ignored, or worse fobbed off with careless criticism.
This is a topic very close to my heart, and comend you for writing so sensitively about it in this and your other post - good for you!

[pepsoid]

I think *respect* and *love* just about sums it up! To be respected and to respect… to be loved and to love… also to give and receive happiness…

Love
Respect
Happiness

How could the world go wrong if our children (and grown-ups-to-be) had all of the above sorted…?

By the way, thanks for the mention above and on my blog, Bren! ;)

Pepsoid
x

[rborrelli]

You were right, this post is very relevant to my own blog post. Hope you found dropping knowledge okay- it's a goodie ain't it?