The nature of life

Does life unfold for those who are open to embrace what it has to offer? Or should it be up to us take life "by the horns" and steer it in the direction of our dreams?

Is life a stream that takes us to our destinations as it will ... or is it the clay that we shape as we will?

I confess that I don't have the answer, although I suspect it lies somewhere between these two extremes. I just have to find where exactly that is for my own journey. These are the answers I still await as I continue to observe a period of stillness and listening.

I do agree with a recent post at A Day to Share with Tammy, that in many ways I create my life each day, even in the simplest efforts, as she describes:

During the summer months, when flowers are plentiful in my garden, I love to fill the house with these heavenly tokens. I arrange bouquets for my living room, bedroom, dining room, kitchen, and my desk. I know I am arranging them for me. With these flowers I am in good company ...

I may have stress and some complications, but in my heart I know that I can and will smile to myself knowing that I am in charge ... I create the roads that I will follow ...

Why be miserable when you can be happy? I looked at the flower on the table again. I saw a gift the flower was giving me.

But, when it comes to issues of personal achievement, I have on occasion been better served by letting my ambition take the day off! Some days God, fate or coincidence seemingly has other plans. And, from time-to-time, these plans have opened doors I could not have foreseen.

What about you? Do you accept life as it comes, mold it to suit, or adopt a different approach. Let me know! I'm still listening.

Comments

[Brenda]

Tammy --I agree that "each path that I take does take me to a place where I should be," I'm just impatient. It probably doesn't help that I often try to take three different paths at once rather than making one decision (or best guess)!

[Tammy Warren]

Oh Brenda. I am so glad you got something out of my post. I am so happy to see it here. I have been contemplating this same issue. I have the career issues also. I feel those are a little different than my everyday view in life. I have always kept them separate, but I have recently decided to try to merge them in my thoughts. This is really a deep issue rooted in my heart. I do believe each path that I take does take me to a place where I should be. Whether it be the right choice or not...I learn from a certain path and move on. Not always easy...not always having the perfect ending, but in my heart it was my choice that I made.

When I was young, I would look to others for advice. As I have gotten older I am finding that I don't do this as much. I believe that my recent road has taken me full circle. I need advice and friendship from others. I tried it without and ended right back where I started from. With my career, I am seeking advice from others. I plan on listening and then making my choices.

One day at a time and one choice at a time. In the meantime, I am going to find happiness in my everyday life. I did find my flower speaking to me. Why be miserable when I can be happy? I am in charge. I do fail, but that is OK.

Thank you again for this post. I hope you can resolve all of the issues that you are trying to sort out. Choices, paths, roads, or whatever we call them are real. We do have to make decisions. No need to let ourselves down. Right?

[Brenda replies]

I absolutely love the feedback you all are giving! Everyone has a different "take" on the topic, yet each answer has a certain wisdom.

Cheryl -- It seems like others are traveling this same path with us! "Dichotomy" is exactly how this question has been seeming to me of late, but your point makes so much sense: most of us are very blessed to have the capacity to do all the things you listed, "to think, dream, analyze, charter a course for my life and draft the itinerary that would take me there."

When we look at the flip side, however, I think your use of the word "fight" sums it up perfectly. When I am trying to force my will on a reluctant reality, it indeed becomes a fight for me. And when that happens, I have to admit that not only have I made myself unhappy, but I'm probably not making anyone else happy either. When I reach that point, I guess it's a pretty safe bet that it's my turn to let go!

As always, I appreciate your perspective!

Cassy -- Your words make sense to my rational mind (assuming I have one)! In fact, your approach is very similar to what up until recently had been my own. Of course there are times one must persist at home as well as on-the-job (ie., sometimes our marriages need a little redirection). And there are times at work when we all must conform to decisions we don't entirely agree with (ie., ultimately whoever pays the bills dictates the rules).

But what happens when one's professional life won't go according to plan ... at all? Actually this is the challenge I'm up against right now, when the opportunities I rally for seem to slip one after the other into a black hole, despite my best efforts. Anymore, I'm not so sure that persistence is always the best answer. Maybe, I wonder, I'm not SUPPOSED to continue along the path of my choosing. Maybe I can no longer separate my sense of spiritual guidance from my work life. Or maybe I just need to take "no" for an answer!

In most areas of life, though, I certainly can relate to your words, "I hope and long for the best, then I face what comes my way." Those are the words of one who can survive whatever life brings! Thanks for sharing your perspective ... it certainly helps me clarify things!

Max -- You make so many excellent points here:

"That flow creates many rivers of its own all we have to do is to select which one we wish to flow through and then take the opportunities it presents to us ..."

"no matter which river you choose, you will go to where you are supposed to"
I sure hope you're right on this one! Not being certain leaves me more hesitant than I'd like!

"I also chase the reason why life is offering me what it is offering."
I SO agree ... and also dig for the deeper reasons!

"I try to understand what can be done to avoid being comfortable in one situation." Yes, becoming too comfortable is its own trap!

If "we stop at a certain point of the circle because we have grown used to it, and we don't feel like facing another challenge) we take longer to complete the cycle." Very good analogy! Thanks for contributing your thoughts!

Emily -- At my first reading, what I really liked about your story of your friend's email (and your reaction) was the wonderful sense of hope of the joy over the possibilities BOTH from your friend (seeing where life will take her) and you (seeing where you will take life." Maybe that SHOULD be the real point!

Still, I can well understand the realities that you run up against (and that your friend surely does as well)! Life theory is relatively easy compared to actual living, isn't it? (That's why I like taking my questions to other bloggers rather than academics!)

Your words about "falling short" also ring true. And I don't think it was just your parents, but our entire culture, that didn't see the value in teaching this. Then again, perhaps there is only one way to gain all the benefits of this lesson ... by truly failing. I've heard it said that we learn more by failing than succeeding ... and from my own perspective, I think this is true. Now, lately I'm getting a little weary of it -- ;( -- but it sure has moved me into a mode where I'm more open to instruction and growth!

Thanks for sharing! You always have so much to contribute!

[Cheryl Wrght]

Moments ago I posted on my Quiet Time with God blog, my thoughts on this topic only to visit yours and see that we traveling in the same flow.

It a bit of read but I want to share my post: A Seeming Dichotomy

It seems like a dichotomy: God rules of all things, every aspect of my life and He gave me the ability to think, dream, analyze, charter a course for my life and draft the itinerary that would take me there.

My faith is important to me and in every goal I set and pursue, I trust God to guide me. Because I believe He knows what's best for me, although disappointed, I accept the twists and turns on my life journey.

Looking back at my life so far, I can trace the path through which He lead me and see how much wiser His choices were than mine at the time.

I am a walking testament to this verse: Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

We can do both. It neither easy nor cut and dried. In my experience it has been stop and go, stand and fall, succeed and fail. But that's life. What a journey!

One of the keys to living it joyfully is to not always fight for the right answer but to have faith, be grateful and contented, be, do and give our best, live each day and pursue our dreams passionately in light of His word and its commands and precepts.

[Cassy]

I can say that in my professional life, I tend to steer in the direction I wish to go. Although fate has already determined it all, I can't wait for it to happen to me. I rather take action and see where I can go.

As for matters of home, family, health, spirituality - those are all best left to a greater power. I hope and long for the best, then I face what comes my way.

Thanks for always making us thnk about life!

[Max Coutinho]

Hey Brenda,

You are addressing a fantastic topic here...I think we should accept what life has to offer, we shouldn't go against the flow of existence, however that flow creates many rivers of its own all we have to do is to select which one we wish to flow through and then take the opportunities it presents to us by the horns. But I can assure you that no matter which river you choose, you will go to where you are supposed to (if not now, in the next life).

"What about you? Do you accept life as it comes, mold it to suit, or adopt a different approach?" - my approach towards life is to accept it as it comes, I go with the flow, but I also chase the reason why life is offering me what it is offering. It isn't always easy for many times I have to fight against being settled at a certain situation, so at the same time I accept life, I try to understand why things have to be the way they are and what can be done to avoid being comfortable in one situation (since so much has to be done).
This might be a bit confusing, so let me try to explain better: imagine a circle. Our life is like going around the circle, completing a cycle; we know (deep inside) that this is how things go, so we accept it as it comes; now if we get too comfortable (i.e. we stop at a certain point of the circle because we have grown used to it, and we don't feel like facing another challenge) we take longer to complete the cycle. Know what I mean?

Great post; it made me think :D!

Cheers

[Emily]

Oh, the timing! Just this morning I read an email from a friend who said she can't wait to "see where life takes me," and I thought in my head, "or see where I take life!"

That was a few minutes ago, yet in light of my recent post about my struggle to even stay focused and go for what I want sometimes, though I say it so simply, I know the doing of it isn't so steady.

I prefer to think of it as a conversation between myself and my potential (destiny perhaps?). Like many people of the "you can be anything you want to be" (without any specific feedback homes, I have been afraid of going for what I want ... after all what if I failed or fell short in some way? I wish my parents had taught me how to fall short ... this one's up to me now ;)

[Brenda replies]

Becky -- First, my thoughts are with you as you face this challenge! Your current reality is the just type of hurdle that makes me ask questions about the nature of life. These aren't parts of the journey that we would have planned for ourselves. And sometimes they make us change course entirely. Your response shows a positive outlook and I certainly hope for you that somehow this can become a chance for good or for growth in your life. My best wishes to you!

[Becky]

You ask a hard question. I think I would have to say I take life as it comes and then mold it to suit by my response. Currently I am undergoing a test in that area as I wait for results of testing about a mass in my lungs. Since God is in charge of my life, I know the end result will be good, but I am a touch nervous about the road I have to travel to get there!