My turn to listen, to wait

I haven't been in writing mode these days. Rather, I've been listening, reading ... tuning in to the shared thoughts of others. Writing must wait.

I'm not entirely comfortable with my silence; it leaves me with a certain impatience. I don't even know what I'm waiting for, yet I know this mental immobility is my mind's way of telling me to be still, observe and learn.

I recently read a Turkish proverb that instructed, "listen a hundred times; ponder a thousand times; speak once." That proverb resonants now in my brain; it is not my time to speak.

I hold no doubts that my own words will come in their own time and, in the meanwhile, the lesson that I'm learning is how to wait.

Waiting is part part of daily life. Matthew Wheeler at I'm Coming Back as a Bug describes it well. In his post, "The Art of Waiting," Matthew writes:

In the rat race of our life here in America it seems to be a lot of hurry up and wait. Traffic is the perfect example of that. You get to a light, the light turns green, cars take off like they are racing the quarter mile, 0 - 45 in three seconds and then two blocks later then next light turns red and everybody slams on their brakes. Multiply that very same action for three miles and you become amazed more people don't suffer from whiplash.  ... All that stress, inefficiency and wasted time. Hurry up and wait.

Still, our culture doesn't know how to wait. At My Life as it Was, Is, and Will Be, S.S. Greylord writes about waiting, too. In her post, "Car Washes, Margaret Thatcher and Patience" she asks, "What ever happened to patience?"

We want our food and we want it now. We want our coffee so we race through the drive thru expecting it to be ready as we brake beside them. We want our drive-cleaning done today. So they offer same-day service.

My mind isn't offering that same calibur of customer service, so I must learn to be patient. Still ... I hope it's not a long wait. I'm not sure I have the time for it.

Comments

[Dan/Pepsoid/The Progenitor]

Waiting... or... not even waiting (which is still, in a sense, "doing"), but just being... not-doing... or doing as little as possible... being without expectations... being unaware of time and everything but that which comes to you with no advance warning... how long could we "wait" at the traffic lights with no expectations of when they would turn green?

[J Philippe]

Hi there.

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If you are interested in a link exchange, please let me know. Send me your details, and I will do my best to post them on my blogroll ASAP.

More power to you and your blog.

Cheers.

J

[Brenda replies]

Merely Me -- I think so, I'm just not crazy about the answer! ;) I've been trying to force certain career moves and the doors haven't opened in the ways in which I've expected. Still, they're opening as I back down off my expectations ... and away from my ego. What I'm realizing this this: at work there can be a fine line between wanting to make the utmost use of my skill sets and feeling "too good" for a particular job. I had been sliding into the latter category and discounting some opportunities. With a little quiet time I've now come to grips with that and, in taking steps to correct my attitude, my career prospects have improved.

All Rileyed Up -- Glad you stopped by! I think I'll have that proverb blown up into a poster and plastered by my breakfast table; I need to read that every morning!

[Merely Me]

so...have you found what you are waiting for?

[All Rileyed Up]

Great proverb! I've never heard that before. Definitely something to think about.

[Brenda replies]

Monica -- Every once in a while a bit of panic breaks through as I consider what SHOULD be happening. (Oh, those pesky "SHOULDS!") But I'm getting much better at calming those thoughts and then, yes, it is calm and peaceful, and -- to recall Alexander Pope from my World Lit days -- "Whatever is is right."

Cheryl -- For the waiting to be productive, I think your words are key; that the waiting/listening has to be done "with no preconceived ideas of what will happen." By doing this, perhaps the WORDS aren't happening for me yet, but the benefits of being still are already yielding some blessings in my external life. Not having or even reaching for answers, for instance, I'm finding, is a great exercise in humbling myself (ie., relinquishing control). Through that practice, I feel I'm becoming aware of some self-imposed obstacles related to ego ... and solutions to problems ARE emerging as a result! I'm not explaining this very well -- I guess I'll leave that for later -- but for now let's just say, I'm finding some spiritual rewards in the silence!

Tammy -- I love how you word it, "put on the brakes and listen to the soul." That is it exactly!

Matthew -- I always love my visits to your blog ... whether you make me think or chuckle!

ssgreylord -- I can relate to what you said about anxiety as a threat to the waiting/listening process. It certainly is my biggest hurdle: just being able to relax and accept the reality and learn from it!

[Monica]

I hear you! :) Great quotes here... thinking and waiting - ahhh, sounds calming!

{{{ hugs }}}

Monica

[Cheryl Wrght]

Ah waiting! Brenda my blogging friend, somehow your thoughts on waiting made me sit and wonder when last I too spent time simply listening and waiting.

It's been my experience that when I listen and wait, with no preconceived ideas of what will happen, wonderful revelations unfold, solutions to problems emerge and inspiration sparks.

I’m so glad you took time to listen and wait and then share with us your thoughts on a practice that we so often forget in our daily rush.

Cheryl

[Tammy Warren]

I get in those moods a great deal. I think with all that is going in life it is hard sometimes to put on the brakes and listen to the soul. I cannot write unless I have "time" to connect with me.

Take all the time you need.

[Matthew]

Brenda your the best! Thank you...right now I am waiting for the coffee to hit my system so that my brain can turn on.

[ssgreylord]

what a cool surprise to come across your site and see a reference to my latest post. i'm flattered, thanks.

i especially appreciated your words. sometimes it is so difficult to wait for those words to come, isn't it?

i once wrote a post about this and the title was "where did the words go?" i was working so hard on what you referred to as "...listening, reading ... tuning in to the shared thoughts of others."

still, i couldn't get away from that small panic of what if they never come back? :) of course they have, but it was a rather anxious wait.

thanks for a beautiful post.