enroute365

Prying my fingers from possibilities

Have you ever found yourself trying to take more than one path at a time? Maybe you've discovered that you don't get very far when trying to straddle several diverging routes. When writing my last post, The Nature of Life, I knew that I was not making any inroads through recent efforts to simultaneously direct and follow my life -- or, at least, my career. But upon reading your responses, I realized that my challenge was a bit more complicated.

Let me explain. I've come to realize that running my own consulting business on a full-time basis will never meet the goal I'd hoped for: being able to utilize my writing and/or design skill sets to their highest potential. Not when I must also function as the sales person, accountant and IT staff! So, it was time to re-evaluate. Still, I love being the strategist and the worker bee ... and having my own company allows me to test new ideas, something I wouldn't risk in a corporate setting. As a result, I continue to run my small enterprise with the intent of relegating it to a side business or "hobby job," after I find a full-time job that better fits my objectives.

Now, the U.S. economy isn't exactly cooperating with my plan! So, to temporarily supplement my income, I've accepted a temp job assignment. I was over-qualified for the job, but the position appeared just when I needed it. No other doors where opening at the time and, when I walked in for an interview, everyone and everything seemed so familiar, so ... right. "Maybe I'm being lead here," I told myself as I checked my ego at the door. Besides, my new contractor was so incredibly happy to snag me that my sense of self-confidence is still beaming somewhere over on Cloud 9!

As I undertake this job, however, I'm also trying to fill the gaps within my resume by educating myself and taking on specific non-paying projects that will enhance my portfolio. Because a new job or my own business might demand that I understand the new social media, I continue to immerse myself in that exploration, too. And, did I mention that I still envision myself as a freelance writer? So those efforts remain on my plate as well!

But, today as I responded to a recent comment, I realized that all these activities were not the result of a decision on my part ... but from a lack of one. I found myself trying to be a business owner, contract employee, job seeker, student and freelance writer ... all because I'd sure hate to miss out on any opportunity before me! I wasn't making choices, I was hedging my bets! And I've had to admit that I'm so afraid of not fulfilling my purpose or potential here on earth (or even fully comprehending what that is) that I' haven't let go of any path showing promise! And when anyone is so frantically jumping from one road to another, can s/he really be quiet enough to hear that still, small voice? Or proactive enough to intentionally forge a well-conceived future?

While last week I questioned when I should listen and when I should lead, now I'm facing the reality that doing either requires letting go: relinquishing my grip on a fistful of possibilities in order to effectively pursue one. Or two. At most, three. (I think you see my dilemma!)

Just try to pry my fingers off any one of my endeavors and I'm sure to give you a litany of reasons why I must retain it. Yet I'll also tell you, in all sincerity, that I am not a workaholic. Although, now that I think of it, I haven't taken a vacation in over two years.

My salvation lies, I believe, in the fact that I'm not very tolerant of indecision ... in myself or others. So now that I've realized I'm guilty of just this crime, correcting my course -- or, more accurately, settling on a single course of action -- should be easier.

I know I should be grateful. After all, I have a wealth of options to choose from. Many women don't have it this good. On second thought, some men don't either. I am facing the type of abundance that comes from having freedom. And freedom requires that decisions be made. I must choose which path to take at this point in my journey or remain stalled at the intersection. Maybe some of my options will reappear in the future. And that's what I'll remind myself: no true possibilities are ever lost because I am always free to retrace my steps and choose again.

How do you address decision-making? What choices are easy for you? Which are difficult?

Refreshing purpose

What's the purpose of life? Each of us looks upon his or her own journey for the answer(s), but I wanted to share this refreshing viewpoint found in a short YouTube video. [length 2:08]

Here for a purpose, Part Five

Do you have a sense/feeling that you are here for a purpose?

I continue to query friends, acquaintances and strangers on this subject as part of a multi-part series. I think it's an important question. It gives me a deeper insight into those around me, and into the experience of being human.

Last week, I posted Sandy's response. Today, it's Dan's turn.

When I asked Dan if he had an instinctual sense of purpose, he quipped, "I cannot comment without my attorney present." Luckily I have some pull there. His "attorney" is his wife and my sister.

Getting serious once more, Dan reflected that he wasn't sure if his purpose on earth was preordained, as my question implied. But he did have "a general sense" of a need to contribute. "It doesn't have to be big or flashy," he continued, "but it needs to be positive."

Dan is a hands-on guy. He grew up helping his father, a carpenter. He often uses the skill sets he learned as a youth in helping others. But that's not where it ends. Dan noted that one continues to discover hidden talents while going through life. "You learn where you can add value," he says.

Bottom line? "I need to count. That's always my challenge ... figuring out where and how."

Do you need for your life to count? To matter? What skills do you possess to contribute?

Here for a purpose, Part Four

Do you have a sense/feeling that you are here for a purpose?

 Early responses to this question have yielded an illuminating array of answers. Most recently we heard from Karen. Now let's gain another perspective from this multi-part series.

Sandy is on a spiritual journey. She may be Buddhist. She does not yet know. Still, she's one of the most spiritual women I know.

Sandy believes she has a purpose. She's well-educated on the subject, but her certainty stems from within. "I know [my purpose] inside," she asserts, touching her chest. "But when I read things that resonated, I said, 'that's the truth for me! Aha! That's it!'"

And the very fact she is alive is confirmation enough. Sandy hasn't had an easy life. "I could have been gone from this world," she explains. "But I'm still here." "Why am I still here?" she asks. The answer: she isn't ready to exit. Her work isn't done. "I've felt some shame over not living my life's purpose," she admits.

Still she feels her role is important ... and interwoven with the missions of others. "I'm learning every day the impact," she says of our interconnected efforts.

How do you know if you're fulfilling your mission on earth? And what moves you closer to your role?

Here for a purpose, Part Three

Do you have a sense/feeling that you are here for a purpose?

On March 26, I posted the first response to this question. Today I'd like to share another in this multi-part series. We're hearing from Karen, a Christian woman. She is my sister and the mother of four.

Karen describes her purpose as an on-going calling that changes as she passes through life's stages. "It may not be something I'm looking for," she says, "but a realization." For Karen, "something clicks, and you feel this is something you should be involved with." She gives an example: perhaps help is needed with the church's meals program for the sick. It occurs to her, "I can do this. This is for me."

Sometimes the realization comes afterward. And Karen reflects that  her skills or her experience had placed her in perfect alignment to help for "such a time as this." That she was there "for that purpose."

Have you ever looked back on an event and felt this way? That you were placed here on earth for a particular moment or moments? Or is your experience different?

Here for a purpose, Part Two

Do you have a sense/feeling that you are here for a purpose?

In my March 22 post, I first introduced this question as part of a multi-post series. Today I'd like to share the first response. It's from Frank, a man in his early 50s, who ascribes to no religious doctrine, but denies none either.

Upon hearing the question, without pause Frank said that his purpose was "something I feel that I know. A certainty." Frank asserted that his purpose "comes totally from within." It is "something within me that makes this seem right. It needs no outside confirmation."

Did Frank know what his purpose was?

When questioned further, Frank said he "had a belief of what that purpose is." Namely, "to make a difference." The specifics weren't important he assured me. He felt no drive urging him deeper or pushing him forward. He just needed to "make things better than how I found them."

"On a deep, emotional level, Frank knew he had a purpose. He had a belief of what that purpose was."

When did Frank first realize his purpose?

Frank's realization grew over a long period of time during his college years. Yet, his mission is still called to mind almost every day. Not through any intentional reflection on his part, but of its own accord.

What is your purpose? How does it differ from Frank's? In what ways is it the same?

Here for a purpose, Part One

Ever since I can remember, I have felt I was on earth for a purpose. It is a feeling that stems from the deepest reaches of my soul. Ironically, I don't know what that purpose is, but learning and fulfilling my part is now a driving force in my life.

Here's what I do know:

• Accomplishing my role is important. It will bring meaning to my days and be a benefit to others.
• Opportunities will unfold before me, in line with my mission. I have only to observe and act. To listen and trust. To show courage and character.
• No one else is called for this purpose.
• Yet, I'm not alone. You have a calling, too.
• Understanding your calling is important to me.

I'm not much on polite conversation. When I speak with people, ultimately I want more than info on how they are. I need to know who they are. And, somehow, I feel this tells me so much more than I ask. It also tells me who we are.

And that's why I recently began asking the questions that matter to me. And, in this multi-part series, I'd like to share the responses to my first question:

Do you have a sense/feeling that you are here for a purpose?