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The value of uncertainty

Uncertainty paid me a recent call. A wake-up call.

Over the last eight years, I’ve taken family weekends for granted. During this time my sisters and I have lived within a two-hour drive of each other, yet we’ve typically only found the time to make that drive four times a year. Or less.

But change is on the horizon. Now it appears that one family may have to relocate to a different job market. Another family awaits word of how a down-sizing will affect them.

This isn’t fair or unfair. This is life, I remind myself. Life isn’t predictable and those along for its journey cannot expect to remain complacent for too long. Which is exactly what I had allowed myself to become -- too comfortable – and what I pulled back from during a recent family get-together.

The family surrounding me, I tried to stretch each moment of the weekend as if I could keep it always before me in an elastic eternity. The words of my sisters hung in the air as I listened, not only to their shared stories and concerns, but also the tone and timbre of their voices. Even their arguments. In my nieces’ eyes, I relished the sparks of creativity and laughter … and I see these glints still. I cherished every embrace, however fleeting, and marveled at the caring conveyed by a touch.

For once, I was even content to play the observer as my brothers-in-law traded good-natured jabs. My witty repartee could wait.

I would love to see a bright sun mysteriously burst through the clouds that shroud the family's future and shine the light on answers that would keep my siblings and their families nearby. And that is what I'll pray for. Whether or not this happens, however, I am grateful for even the uncertainty of life which has caught me off-balance … the uncertainty that has made all I value precious again.

Learning what I’m made of

As perhaps we all do, within any given day and every turn of events I learn what I am made of. Still, I’m ceaselessly amazed at just what stuff it is … although I’ve been uncovering clues since at least the second grade.

To be specific, I was seven and transitioning from second to third grade. My family had recently moved from a small town in North Dakota to an equally small town in Iowa. But, somehow, during that move, my confidence had been misplaced. As my mother laid out my clothing for the first day of school, I became inconsolable at the thought of leaving second grade behind.

Second grade had been kind to me. It had been filled with reading about Dick and Jane and coloring (mostly) within the lines. Recess had been equally rewarding. On some occasions I’d played with the other girls on the merry-go-round and swing sets. On other days, I’d built roads with the boys in the sandbox. Although I was often teased during the latter activity, as my undies would sometimes show, I’d roll my eyes, tug the hem of my dress to the tops of my knees and indignantly retort, “Next time you don’t have to look!”

After school, I’d climb to the top of the butte behind the playground to dig mica from the soil. According to the older children, this silvery paper-like substance was a precious metal which could be traded for candy at the only store in town. Still, they seemed surprised when I was able to conduct just such a transaction with the proprietor there.

But now we had moved and my mother was explaining that the next day I would start third grade. “I don’t know anybody! I’m not ready for third grade,” I had cried, feeling so alone and realizing that the work would be more difficult, the expectations so much higher. “Of course you’re ready,” Mother responded with the patience of one who had three other children to attend to. How little she understood. But, as anyone who has ever had a mother knows, there is truly no use in arguing with them. So the next day, filled with apprehension, I silently prepared for school.

The white school house was very small. With only two rooms, it wasn’t even one quarter the size of my former consolidated school with its multiple classrooms, a cafeteria and gymnasium. I looked at my mother, who’d walked us up to the building, with questioning eyes. “Are you kidding me? This isn’t a school, this is an outhouse!” The words were never uttered; I’d already learned that it was better to reign in such thoughts as this. But the irony of my earlier fear tugged upwards at the corners of my mouth and inwardly I laughed at my own naivety. What a baby I had been!

Mrs. Nicholson, my new teacher, was nice, grandmotherly. With grades three through five sharing a single classroom, I could spot my older sister from across the room. And I shared first names with one of my classmates; by the end of Day One, Brenda R. had become my new best friend.

The school days rolled by and it wasn’t long before Mrs. Nicholson commended me for my oral reading ability -- for using inflection and looking to my audience as I spoke. I’d been reading to my younger siblings since at least age five and they had never noted my gift for the spoken word, so I was surprised that my teacher could be pleased at something so imperceptible. Still I basked in her praise. Here was something I was good at ... without even trying!

By the school year’s end, the world (and third grade in particular) was my oyster.

So, as you might expect, I was very disappointed to learn that my family now faced another move. We were headed to Texas.

Don’t get me wrong: I put up every argument against moving that a child of eight can think of. I would miss my new-found friends. I wasn’t certain I’d like living in a land with no snow. But as the U-Haul truck pulled up to the house and all our worldly goods disappeared inside, I also understood that I had resilience … even if I didn’t yet know the word for it. I knew I’d make new friends. I understood that I carried with me the capacity to excel in Texas, just as I had in Iowa. More importantly, I realized that I had the stuff that it took to deal with any challenge, once I silenced my fears.

I’d tell you that I’m glad I learned these lessons early on, except that I continue to learn them in every challenge that I face to this day. Perhaps this can be said for most of us: throughout our lives we continue to discover what it is we're made of.

What challenges have you conquered in your early life? What did these years reveal to you about yourself?

5 points of gratitude (and lots of links)

Every time I visit  Are you Grateful? and 365 Days of Gratitude I am torn. Although I'm always inspired by the abundance mindset I find there, I know I should be reserving some time here for gratefulness as well. And now ... that time has come!

My statement of gratitude (what I am thankful for today):

• Good news from the doctor. After I gained an unprecedented 15 pounds in two weeks, friends insisted I visit my physician. Luckily I passed the physical (after all, no studying was required)! A subsequent x-ray proved that for some reason my only problem is that I am -- quite literally -- full of it! With some medication this, too, shall pass, so today I am relieved ... well, I soon will be! 
• A husband who thinks my situation is hysterically funny! Actually, I'm not really thankful for Frank at the moment ... but I am working on it. My gratitude toward my spouse is a very fickle thing which has a lot to do with how many hours he spends sleeping in front of the TV and how often he laughs at my jokes. My jokes ... not my predicament! Still, he has a heart of gold and the very best intentions. And for that I am forever grateful.
• My outdoor world. Even though it's August, the last several days have brought comfortable temperatures to central Iowa where I live -- perfect weather for enjoying the sights and the songs of a variety of bird life. No flooding or wildfires threaten my home ... and for this I am incredible thankful!
• A new contract. In my work as a consultant, I had just ended one project early due to a client's budgetary woes and was scrambling to get more work lined up. I was beside myself with worry ... well, I was worried anyway. But today I got the phone call I needed and will begin my new job next week. Somebody's looking out for me and for that I give thanks!
• Blogging. Why is it that every time I question the value of maintaining a blog, something happens to refocus me? Someone's comments or online friendship. An exciting new find in the blogosphere. Or, as has recently happened, the receipt of an award. I'll have more on that tomorrow ... but for now let me just say "Thank you" to all you bloggers who inspire me, challenge me and those who remind me to count my blessings!

What are you grateful for today?

In order to be able to achieve and maintain happiness we need to, actively, be able to do two things:

1. Complain and then let go (Dump the baggage, the roadblocks to happiness.)
2. Openly Express Gratitude (The open expression of gratitude promotes happiness.)

In order to be able to achieve and maintain happiness we need to, actively, be able to do two things:

1. Complain and then let go (Dump the baggage, the roadblocks to happiness.)
2. Openly Express Gratitude (The open expression of gratitude promotes happiness.)

After all, everyone has something to be grateful for and/or something to complain about. If you would like to accept the challenge, please follow the appropriate link and do so: "Are You Grateful?", "Complain Complain Complain."

Contributors to "Are You Grateful?" & "Complain Complain Complain" are: 1-Attitude, the Ultimate Power 2-Max 3-DianaCA's Metamorphoses 4-Mental Poo 5-My Thoughts 6-Baba Doodlius 7-Wake Up America 8-Life is a Roller Coaster 9-Life and Me 10-pinay mommy's love blog 11-My Happiness Haven 12-And Life Goes On for a Filipino Mom 13-Blessed Sanctuary 14-Expressions And Thoughts 15-Memories by Jenn 16-Reminiscence of My Adventures 17-In the Life of Mne 18-Juliana's Lair 19-Pinay Wahm 20-Lucid Creativity 21-Winged Words 22-Irresistible Fascinations 23-A Little Time 24-See Me For What You Will 25-Greatest Reviews 26-ETC ATBP 27-Gandacious 28-We Are Family 29-Journey to this thing called LIFE 30-www.rajeshrana.net 31-www.rajeshrana.com 32-BaReFooTeD Me 33-Uncomplicated 34-Points of View 35-Pride & Prejudice 36-Colorful World 37-Nora's Notes 38-A Daily Walk With Bill & Gina 39-Strange but True 40-Everything Under The Sun ( Beth Rebokon ) 41-Kaleidoscope 42-Fil-Oz Blog 43-By Osc@r Luiz 44-Comedy Plus 45-Blogging by Sandee 46-Soul Meets World 47-Mae's Memoirs 48-Beyond the Rave Reality 49-Amori, poesie, arte, chat by Hanna 50-Attached at the Hip 51-Carver's Sight or is that Site? 52-Empress Reviews 53-Simple Pleasures In My Heart 54-Lourdes' mia 55-A Grateful Heart 56-Majorsleepyhead 57-Scrappy n Happy in Ohio 58-CHOC MINT GIRL 59-Extraordinary Things 60-ZOOROPAZOO 61-BeNolSatuEm 62-As The World Turns 63-Your Caring Angels 64-Life Is Wonderful To Know Everyday 65-Sugar Magnolias 66-Little Peanut 67-Creative In Me 68-Me and Mine 69-Pea in a Pod 70-the diary of the Pink & Brown Wedding 71-good thoughts, good trades, good life 72-My Blog - all things me 73-Rainbows 74-Little Corner of Mine 75-Me, Myself and I 76-My Planet Purple 77-Amel's Realm 78-A Handful of Surprises 79-A Detour 80-Something Purple 81-Vanity Kit 82-Are You Grateful? 83-A Simple Life 84-BlogTips.Com 85-Balitang Kalye 86-Mariuca 87- Emila Yusof 88-A Total Blog 89-My Life in this Wonderful World 90-MommyAllehs 91-Things That Suck 92-A Mother's Stuff 93-Princess Vien 94-My Inner Thoughts Revealed 95-Roxiticus Desperate Housewives 96-Apples Of The Eyes 97-Nita's Random Thoughts 98-Nita's Corner 99-Thomas Digital Services 100-A Mother's Thoughts101-Meltwater. Torrents. Meanderings. Delta 102-My Perfect Escape 103-Vanidosa. Marie 104-Confessions of a Supermodel Wannabe 105-Lynda's Loft 106-Listening..Learning..Living 107-LadyJava's Lounge 108-The Painted Veil 109-Poeartica 110-Maryannaville 111-the life of a psychotic weirdo 112-CARPE DIEM 113-Turn-u-Off 114-asian mutt international 115-Petty Ramblings of a Petty Queen 116-LIFE IS A ROLLER COASTER 117-AZZY'S BLOG-A-ROONIE! 118-glad to be here 119-WilStop 120-Dare to Blog 121-WebGeek Journal 122-Foster Me Up 123-This is My Life 124-DaveylynneDR 125-Life Realities 126-aNgRiAniWorld Dot Com 127-All That Matters 128-My Inspiration Sharing Land 129-Hidup Biar Sedap 130-Mutiara Hati 131-EM Muhammad 132-I Digress 133-Mapped Memories 134-Working It 135-Startin' A New Life too, 136-Little Secret 137-FEEL FREE to Express Yourself 138-iAM-Mai 139-SOLOFLIGHT 140-BLACKNICKEL 141-NEUROPATCH 142-EMJEI SAYS 143-Big Money List 144-daily information 145-TRCoach 146-LOVE YOUR LIFE! 147- INSTANT MESSAGES 148-MEME ME 149-mEldita's untamed world 150-mEldita's uncensored life 151-i.MEL.dific 152-SNAPSHOT 153-DAILY STOCK PICKS 154-The Pet Haven 155-Pet's Garden Blog 156-Ketuk_angel Weblog 157-Laketrees 158-Enroute 365

More butterflies, more meanings

After my August 12th post, it's no secret that I'm fond of butterflies! But I am just now realizing how these beautiful creatures have come to symbolize real transformations in thought within the lives of others.

My blogging pal Emily at Be in Wonder is a case in point. In March she wrote a very revealing post entitled "Butterly Wings" that I've only recently became aware of. It refers to this insect in terms of individuality and worth.

In her story, Emily refers to a silky piece of cloth that was imagined to be butterfly wings by her son. She observes:

I had often felt like those butterfly wings [after they had been seen more than once and were no longer considered special]; That because I wasn’t unique I didn’t have any joy to offer those around me. I grew up thinking that if I didn’t have anything unique to say that it wasn’t worth saying at all.

I was wrong ... What I have to say is worth expressing--even if it's been said before ... Like butterflies, I will spread my wings -- even if they’ve been seen before. I may be the 1,000 Monarch butterfly you've seen, but I’m the only one dancing in this moment before you.

A second writer, Donna at Amazed By His Grace is the mother of an autistic son. One day she was surprised to see the boy "enacting a butterfly coming out of the cocoon." In response to what she had witnessed, Donna wrote a short but poignant poem which she shared in a recent post. Her words refer to the cognitive breakthrough made by her son and among this mother's heart-felt lines are these:

You broke from your small abode, no longer crawling
But fluttering in the sun, soaking up the rays
Bringing delight to all who would stop to gaze and reflect on the wondrous transformation
My son, I see your passion for the vibrant winged insect and I ponder...
Do you love them so, because they are so much like yourself?
You too were once encased, enclosed, hibernating
Now, you've emerged even more beautiful than I could imagine
Full of life, full of energy, full of love

I can give neither of these posts full justice, so I encourage you to visit the blogs through the links provided above and read these inspirational messages for yourself. Each story is transformative in its own right ... and shows how real empowerment can be found in something as fragile as a butterfly!

Playing with cat toys: 6 skills that won't go on the resume

Yesterday the realization hit: I was not teaching my cat how to play with a new toy, rather, my efforts were providing a good half hour's entertainment for her; a comedy show of sorts. She wasn't the one slow to catch on ... I was!

Let me back up a bit.

When Frank and I welcomed Genie into our home about a month ago, we knew that her previous owner had never really played with her. Now, in my world that's simply a tragedy and was one more indication that Genie was meant to live with us ... because if there is one thing I know how to do, it's play!

For the most part, I've been highly successful with teaching this play-deprived feline new games. At first, she was fearful of the streamer-on-a-stick and suspicious of the various cloth and plastic balls ... but now she is very enthusiastic about both! Just this morning I was wakened by the sound of a bell-filled, catnip-infused burlap ball rolling down the hallway toward the bedroom.

As I arose to play with Genie, I decided that it didn't matter whether I was becoming her fun mentor or her personal entertainer, at least my cat was getting the attention she deserved. But what was I getting out of the relationship? Well, companionship for starters. Plus a whole lotta skill sets that will never make it to my resume:

1. I've become better at sales; I can now "sell" almost any new toy.
2. It's all in my advertising. I'm able to dangle a streamer (or yarn or feathers) ever so enticingly, effectively baiting the customer!
3. I'm even better in the housekeeping department. I can fetch, recovering balls from all over the house (usually under the sofa or fridge).
4. I've honed patience ... the kind that comes from waiting while my cat decides whether or not to come to my calls.
5. I've learned restraint; learned that one doesn't tickle the stomach of a fully clawed cat, especially when there are no antiseptic or bandages in the house.
6. I have even learned some magic: how to make the vacuum cleaner appear just as the cat disappears!

Okay, that last one's not a game ... at least not for Genie! Still, it is part of my new repertoire of skills as care-giver / nurturer. Talents that will enrich my home life if not my career!

What pet-related talents do you have?